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Sunday, October 31, 2004

Santa Fetish Anyone??

Sooooo....if you've ever seen Bad Santa you probly remember the chick with the Santa fetish, I'll get back to that later. No real topic to cover here 'cept maybe Halloween if there were a topic to discuss here....hmmm....maybe....ya....I'll tell you about Halloween.

I'm not really sure where to start.....I'll start with the end result, how's that sound...

End result - two stupid hickeys, one disturbed image of Jesse, one friggin crazy night, a lot of alcohol consumed, and one mystery laid to rest.

Start the saturday night off with a really bad experience at work and noooo food in my stomach. From there its off to my house, beer drank and costume on(Santa Pimp), now its off to the bar with my Mrs. Santa Ho(Jesse), my DD and My Faithful Elf Bodyguard(Clint). On the way to the bar we were joking about if I hooked up with a chick with a Santa fetish(Bad Santa)...more on that later...at the 1st bar stupid long line up....off to the 2nd bar, not a bad crowd, got to walk right past the line up...cool...drank beer...also cool...while there it became VERY clear that there are chicks out there with Santa fetishes...I've never been molested sooo much in my life...not only myself but my Ho as well...things are lookin good...tis the season afterall...shooters next...ummmm, not such a great idea...then its off to the 3rd bar of the evening after losing a couple of trucker chicks to a pub crawl...enter 3rd bar...hmmm...not a bad crowd either...go to pool tables...no one we know...go to 2nd floor...talk to bouncer we know, he tells us who's upstairs on the 3rd floor...off we go...totaling 5 minutes now...talk another bouncer...while talking I notice this chick motioning for me to dance...I don't dance but not one to turn down an opportunity off I go...very very quickly i realize it's not dancing that she wants to do...inching our way into the most secluded? spot on the packed dance floor... we, uhh, ummm, kinda get it on, if you catch my drift, standing position of course...we are dancing(ummm)...not one word was spoken by either one of us...I have nooo idea what she looks like, costume and such, but, I do know she had a stupid tight body and some nice sized ummmm, nevermind...anyways...moving on...she has no idea either about myself which is fine by me...realistically we could walk right by each other and never now the other one which I think is the coolest thing ever...anonymous sex at its best...no names, no strings, no expectations, no money, no cuddling, and right in the middle of a super busy dance floor...hahahaha...thats the best part ever...and for all you who doubt...pics will be posted later this week from a camera phone once I get ahold of them...fast forward to afterwards...I go downstairs find my Ho...he's doing very well for himself having picked up a super hot kissing bandit...he passed out by the way...poor performance on his part...money is all spent on shots, beer and rye for last call-$60.00 worth of shots...grosse?...ewwww...leave the bar...give fat annoying stupid chick ride home from bar...apparently it was my idea...ewwwwww even more...stupid me...I pass out in the car before I get home...wake up in bed???...2 hours late for work the next day I walk into my office where I find Jesse spread eagle with his costume on sleeping...ewwww even the friggin most...sooooo grosse...so there's 2 pizza guys, santa and his wife, a 70's pimp and a pumpkin man standing around when this gay constuction worker walks in...insert joke here

sooo end result 2 hickeys....she sucked like a hoover dammit....neck and back????...
one disturbed image of Jesse....anybody who saw him in his costume is going to have a very tough time sleeping for the next few weeks...the mystery you ask....next year for halloween I challenge you to dress as Santa...if you're red blooded, a male, and even remotely interested in chicks...then you owe me one...Hohoho and VERY Merry Christmas to one and all...specially the naughty ones...heh

Post Script...next topic...last years halloween and how much I love this store


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